26 Funny Poems

Bring a smile to your face with our collection of funny poems. Need a break, stop and read a humorous poem. A smile, a laugh can change your perspective on things. Share these poems with others who could use a smile in their day!

Short Poems    /   Funny Poems related - Humorous Quotes - - Funny Quotes About Life

Collections of Funny Poems:

  1. Funny Poems About Life

  2. Funny Birthday Poems

  3. Funny Poems About Aging

  4. Funny Fathers Day Poems

Popular Funny Poems:

  1. Somebody
    Poet: Berton Braley

    Somebody's got to be steady
    And stick at a regular job,
    Somebody's got to be ready
    To stay with the laboring mob.

    Somebody's got to be trudging
    The path from the house to the mill,
    Somebody's got to be drudging
    At work that has never a thrill.

    Every one cannot be left to roam
    Careless and blithe and free,
    Somebody's got to stay at home,
    Somebody Else — not me!

  2. Nothing you wear is more important than your smile. Connie Stevens

  3. Preparedness
    Poet: Berton Braley

    We are made of dust, so the preachers say,
    And we only live for a little day,

    And then, regardless of wealth or fame,
    Return to the dirt from whence we came.

    However we live, at last we go
    Into the dust that the breezes blow.

    Ah well, drink up! let us never fret,
    If we keep our gullets extremely wet

    Our dust may prove so damp to touch
    That the wind can't blow us about so much!

  4. My Feet
    Poet: Gelett Burgess

    My feet, they haul me Round the House,
    They Hoist me up the Stairs;
    I only have to Steer them and
    They Ride me Everywheres.

  5. Keep Your Marriage Brimming
    Poet: Ogden Nash

    To keep your marriage brimming
    With love in the loving cup,
    Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
    Whenever you’re right, shut up.

  6. Do You Carrot All for Me?
    Poet Unknown

    Do you carrot all for me?
    My heart beets for you,
    With your turnip nose
    And your radish face,
    You are a peach.
    If we cantaloupe,
    Lettuce marry:
    Weed make a swell pear.

  7. My Shadow
    Poet: Robert Louis Stevenson

    I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
    And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
    He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
    And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

    The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow -
    Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
    For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,
    And he sometimes gets so little that there’s none of him at all.

  8. Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers

  9. The Twins
    Poet: Henry S. Leigh

    In form and feature, face and limb,
    I grew so like my brother.
    That folks got taking me for him.
    And each for one another.
    It puzzled all our kith and kin.
    It reached an awful pitch;
    For one of us was bom a twin,
    Yet not a soul knew which.

    One day (to make the matter worse).
    Before our names were fix'd.
    As we were being wash'd by nurse
    We got completely mix'd;
    And thus, you see, by Fate's decree,
    (Or rather nurse's whim),
    My brother John got christen'd me,
    And I got christen'd him.

    This fatal likeness even dogg'd
    My footsteps when at school,
    And I was always getting flogg'd,
    For John turned out a fool.
    I put this question hopelessly
    To every one I knew —
    What would you do, if you were me,
    To prove that you were you?

    Our close resemblance turn'd the tide
    Of my domestic life;
    For somehow my intended bride
    Became my brother's wife.
    In short, year after year the same
    Absurd mistakes went on;
    And when I died — the neighbors came
    And buried brother John!

  10. Salad
    Poet: Mortimer Collins

    O cool in the summer is salad,
    And warm in the winter is love;
    And a poet shall sing you a ballad
    Delicious thereon and thereof.
    A singer am I, if no sinner,
    My muse has a marvellous wing,
    And I willingly worship at dinner
    The Sirens of Spring.

    Take endive — like love it is bitter.
    Take beet — for like love it is red;
    Crisp leaf of the lettuce shall glitter,
    And cress from the rivulet's bed;
    Anchovies, foam-born, like the lady
    Whose beauty has maddened this bard;
    And olives, from groves that are shady;
    And eggs — boil 'em hard.

  11. The Height Of The Ridiculous
    Poet: Oliver Wendell Holmes

    I wrote some lines once on a time.
    In wondrous merry mood.
    And thought, as usual, men would say
    They were exceeding good.
    They were so queer, so very queer,

    I laughed as I would die;
    Albeit, in the general way,
    A sober man am I.
    I called my servant, and he came;

    How kind it was of him.
    To mind a slender man like me.
    He of the mighty limb!

    "These to the printer," I exclaimed,
    And, in my humorous way,
    I added (as a trifling jest),
    "There'll be the devil to pay.'

    He took the paper, and I watched,
    And saw him peep within;
    At the first line he read, his face
    Was all upon the grin.

    He read the next; the grin grew broad,
    And shot from ear to ear;
    He read the third; a chuckling noise
    I now began to hear.

    The fourth; he broke into a roar;
    The fifth; his waistband split ;
    The sixth; he burst five buttons off.
    And tumbled in a fit.

    Ten days and nights, with sleepless eye,
    I watched that wretched man.
    And since, I never dare to write
    As funny as I can.

  12. Constancy
    Poet: John Boyle O'Reilly

    "You gave me the key of your heart, my love;
    Then why do you make me knock?"
    "Oh, that was yesterday, Saints above!
    And last night — I changed the lock!"

  13. A Secret
    Poet: Unknown

    We have a secret, just we three,
    The robin, and I, and the sweet cherry tree;
    The bird told the tree, and the tree told me,
    And nobody knows it but just us three.

    But of course the robin knows it best,
    Because he built the — I shan't tell the rest;
    And laid the four little — somethings in it —
    I am afraid I shall tell it every minute.

    But if the tree and the robin don't peep,
    I'll try my best the secret to keep;
    Though I know when the little birds fly about,
    Then the whole secret will be out.

  14. The Inner Side
    Poet: Ellen Thorneycroft Fowler

    The inner side of every cloud
    Is bright and shining;
    I therefore turn my clouds about,
    And always wear them inside out,
    To show the lining.

  15. A smile is a happiness you’ll find right under your nose. Tom Wilson

  16. I Know
    Poet: Unknown

    One time I thought I knew it all
    But now I must confess
    The more I know I know I know
    I know I know the less.

  17. I Wouldn't
    Poet: John Vance Cheney

    A sprig of mint by the wayward brook,
    A nibble of birch in the wood,
    A summer day, and love, and a book,
    And I wouldn't be a king if I could.

  18. Why Man Is Bald
    Poet: David V. Bush

    Why man is bald has baffled him
    For ages - many years -
    And it has caused much querying
    And sighs, even to tears.

    Why he is bald? I know the why
    And later will relate
    The reason he is minus hair
    On top of his bald pate.

    It’s not this here heredity,
    Nor dandruff nor disease,
    Because a hat band is too tight;
    Tight scalp - no none of these.

    A man is bald, I know the why,
    And here I will declare,
    He's bald because, he’s bald because,
    He’s minus of some hair.

More Funny Famous Poems:
  1. Grown Up   by Edgar A. Guest

  2. Unregenerate   by Arthur Franklin Fuller

  3. The Secret Of Success   by Nixon Waterman

  4. Mr Nobody Poem   by Unknown Poet

  5. Little Further   by Berton Braley

  6. Frankness Between Friends   by Berton Braley

  7. Learning To Write   by Berton Braley

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