16 Funny Poems About Aging

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1. Keep Young At Heart
   Poet: Strickland Gillilan
   
   But young at heart - God keep us that! Let care be laughed to scorn.
   Let's keep our backs to eventide and always face the morn.
   Let's keep the ripeness of our noon to guide the girls and boys
   Whose youth is callower than ours and lacking deeper joys.
   
   The snow of age may dust our hair, it cannot reach within.
   We'll teach those careworn youths of ours to bear their griefs and grin -
   Go to the one whose empty life has palled on him and say:
   "A wiser youth has come to me while you were turning gray."




Funny Birthday Poems



2. Snap, Crackle, Pop
   Poet: Catherine Pulsifer
   
   I feel like snap, crackle, pop
   I wish my age would just stop
   
   I bend down and my knees do snap
   Makes me feel like my legs will flap
   Then my arthritis makes me crackle
   I wonder what next I can tackle
   And if I turn too fast I hear "pop"
   My neck makes this noise like an old mop.
   
   But let me tell you it's okay
   A snap, a crackle, a pop, lets me know I am not decay
   There is still some life in these old bones
   I won't waste it with complaints and groans
   And I am not going to shrivel up and die
   If someone asks my age I will just lie!




3. Aging is Fun
   Poet: Julie Hebert, © 2012
   
   Aging fun
   Growing old is,
   Lots of fun,
   Allow me to share,
   The obvious pun.
   
   Of course this fun,
   Is not the truth,
   Is aging all that,
   Fun to you?
   
   Baldness, greying,
   Wrinkles, and more.
   Is not my idea of
   Aging galore.
   
   But maybe things will be different for you.
   Do not let the stress of age
   Make you blue
   Live life, be engaged!



As we age, things that happen to everyone, but we should always enjoy and just live life! Find more poems on aging



4. Don't Stress
   Poet: Catherine Pulsifer
   
   Don't stress about your eyesight ailing,
   It's nature's way of protecting you from wailing.
   As you walk past the mirror, don't despair,
   Blurred vision is just showing how much it cares.
   
   The shock of seeing wrinkles and lines,
   Is softened by nature's clever designs.
   So embrace the fuzziness, don't you see?
   It's all part of aging gracefully!
   
   
   
5. Help Me Stay In The Groove
   Poet: Byron Roberts
   
   Don't let me grow into a grumpy old man
   Let me smile and say I can.
   Let me share my wisdom with younger folk
   Don't let me be a grumpy old bloke.
   
   While I move slower, I can still move
   Help me stay in the groove.
   Don't let me sit and do nothing,
   That's no way of living, it's quite muddling!




Funny Quotes About Getting Older



6. Old
   By Catherine Pulsifer, © 2011
   
   I'm too young to be this old
   It is like catching a cold
   It happens before you know
   The years fly by and then you're old.
   
   But life is to be live each day
   Never stop learning
   Keep busy
   Find a laugh
   And life will be the best.




7. Preserve Your Old Age
   Poet: J. S. Ogilvie
   
   May beauty and truth,
   Keep you in youth;
   Green tea and sage.
   Preserve your old age.




Funny Birthday Poems for Friends



8. Older We Get
   By: Catherine Pulsifer, © 2011
   
   The older we get
   The more we forget
   But who cares
   Only those who dare
   To have that facelift
   And then be miffed!




9. Seven Ages Of Wheels
   Poet Unknown
   
   A wicker carriage we provide
   In which the baby first may ride.
   
   With kilts, a yellow cart arrives,
   A doubtful billy-goat he drives.
   
   In knickerbockers, down the pike,
   He circuses upon his bike.
   
   The age of love and gasoline
   Demands a sixty-horse machine.
   
   The years advance; he rides afar
   In his palatial private car.
   
   Old, feeble, if the day be fair,
   His valet wheels him in the chair.
   
   Then one last trip he takes on wheels
   His head no higher than his heels.




10. Not My Age
    Poet Unknown
    
    That’s not my age; it’s just not true.
    My heart is young; the time just flew.
    I’m staring at this strange old face,
    And someone else is in my place!




11. Looking Back
    By Deacon Green
    
    If I were a boy again, — ah, me! —
    How very, very good I'd be!
    I would not sulk, I would not cry,
    I'd scorn to coax for cake or pie.
    I would not cause Mamma distress,
    I'd never hate to wash and dress.
    I'd rather learn a task than play,
    And ne’er from school I'd run away.
    I'd any time my jack-knife lend,
    And share my toys with every friend.
    I'd gladly go to bed at six,
    And never be “as cross as sticks."
    I'd run with joy to take a pill,
    And mustard wear whenever ill.
    I'd never wish to skate or swim,
    But wisely think of dangers grim.
    And, oh, I'd never, just for fun,
    Beg to go hunting with a gun!
    At every naughty thing I did —
    For mischief might be somewhere hid —
    I'd drop at once upon my knees,
    And say, “Dear Teacher, flog me, please."
    
    It’s easy to be good, you see,
    When looking back from sixty-three.




12. I Did Dread
    Poet: Catherine Pulsifer
    
    You are now a senior they said
    Oh great, that I did dread!
    What is good about aging I ask
    Everything seems like such a task.
    
    A senior that means I will have gray hair
    Maybe I'll dye it purple for some flare.
    And wrinkles that appear out of the blue
    Where they came from I haven't a clue.
    
    It seems I walk a little slower
    And things seem more difficult to jump over
    And never before did I need glasses to see
    And my bladder keeps wanting me to pee.
    
    I sit back and wonder about the years
    That have flown by and just disappeared
    And then I realized no sense in being down
    I might as well be the senior clown.
    
    I may not be able to do everything
    But to others a smile I can bring
    So a senior I may be
    My goal is to make others happy!




Funny Poems About Life



13. Golden Years
    Poet: Catherine Pulsifer
    
    They call them the golden years
    Well if that is the case why don't more cheer?
    Age is the one thing people fret about
    Some even sit and pout!
    
    There are many things we can control
    But tell me who sets a goal
    To see time passing and get old?
    It seems to all start at the 50 threshold.
    
    They say your memory starts to go
    You forget things you use to know
    You see a person, but forget their name
    On your age, you do blame!
    
    You talk about the good old days
    Whenever someone visits and stays.
    And when the TV is on
    You close your eyes and yawn.
    
    Golden years look forward they will come
    You think never, I am young.
    But before you know it you will find
    Your younger years will be left behind.




14. The Age
    Poet: Catherine Pulsifer
    
    30 is the age that they say you're old
    but you are still young and pretty bold.
    
    Then comes 40 and you may feel
    You've been given a rotten deal.
    
    But wait, 50 appears out of the blue
    And that age may be a bit of an issue
    
    And before you know it 60 arrives
    And you're thankful you have survived
    
    And some of us see 70 years
    People stop and call us dear.
    
    The big 80 surprises you
    You can't do what you use to.
    
    And if 90 you do see
    To stay awake drink more coffee
    
    100 is the age that is amazing still
    To get around takes some skill.
    
    Forget about the age you are
    Set your goals and you'll go far.
    
    Yes with age you may have to adjust a bit
    But it doesn't mean you have to sit and knit!!




15. When Is Old Age?
    Poet: Catherine Pulsifer
    
    When is old age? At 30, 50, or 70's fall?
    Or when life tosses us against the raging squall?
    Absolutely not! That notion deserves a whack!
    Let's break that myth with a hearty old laugh track!
    
    Old age comes indeed, sneaking without a toll,
    Not with ticking years, but when you cease to set a goal!
    So shake off any dread and dance in delight’s embrace,
    For aging's just for wine and cheese, not the human grace!




16. I've Hit Old Age?
    Poet: Catherine Pulsifer
    
    They tell me I've hit old age, oh what a silly plot,
    In my mind, I'm still a sage, just with an achy spot.
    Does wisdom come with every wrinkle? Now that's something to jot.
    
    On my pension check, they scribble old age fee,
    A name change to Lifetime Achievements, would suit much better, don’t you see?
    Time has ticked away but in spirit, I am still wild and free.
    
    Is this the autumn of life? Well then, hand me a rake,
    Each fallen year a leaf, memories for me to take.