Funny Fathers Day Poems

Bring a smile to Dad's face with these funny fathers day poems. Poems that may reflect exactly what some Fathers feel like. We all need a smile and Dad is no different. Share these poems with your Father and see his reaction - hopefully they will brighten his day.

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  1. Out of The Dog House
    Poet: Hazel Lang


    It's Father's Day and dear old Pop
    Is really ratin' up on top
    All year through he's just the goat
    The entire family at his throat.

    Wantin' this and wantin' that
    From an ice cream cone to a perky hat;
    All year long he goes about
    Walkin' the chalk and he can't stay out.

    He can't spill ashes on the floor;
    Odd jobs pile up more and more;
    He drives the family here and there
    They take his paper and his chair;

    He does what e'er the family wills
    He's just the man who pays the bills.
    But Father's Day is a different story
    He goes around in all his glory,

    They give him gifts and pet him, too,
    A million nice things do they do;
    Just once a year he has his way
    He's "out of the dog house"




  2. An Ideal
    Poet: Berton Braley


    I wish I were as trig a man,
    As big a man,
    As bright a man;
    I wish I were as right a man in all this earthly show,
    As broad and high and long a man,
    As strong a man,
    As fine a man,
    As pretty near divine a man as one I used to know.

    I wish I were as grave a man,
    As brave a man,
    As keen a man,
    As learned and serene a man, as fair to friend and foe.
    I wish I owned sagaciousness
    And graciousness
    As should a man
    Who hopes to be as good a man as one I used to know.

    I'd be a creature glorious,
    Victorious,
    A Wonder-man,
    Not just a sort of Blunder-man whose ways and
    thoughts are slow.
    If I could only be the man,
    One-tenth of one degree the man,
    I used to think my father was when I was ten or so.



  3. Another funny poem that will bring a smile to Dad's face!
  4. Getting Information Out Of Pa
    Poet: Unknown


    My pa he didn't go to town
    Last evening after tea,
    But got a book and settled down
    As comfy as could be.
    Til tell you I was offul glad
    To have my pa about
    To answer all the things I had
    Been tryin’ to find out.

    And so I asked him why the world
    Is round instead of square,
    And why the piggies’ tails are curled,
    And why don’t fish breathe air?
    And why the moon don’t hit a star,
    And why the dark is black,
    And just how many birds there are,
    And will the wind come back?

    And why does water stay in wells,
    And why do June bugs hum,
    And what’s the roar I hear in shells,
    And when will Christmas come?
    And why the grass is always green,
    Instead of sometimes blue,
    And why a bean will grow a bean
    And not an apple, too?

    And why a horse can’t learn to moo,
    And why a cow can’t neigh?
    And do the fairies live on dew,
    And what makes hair grow gray —
    And then my pa got up an’ gee!
    The offul words he said,
    I hadn’t done a thing, but he
    Jest sent me off to bed.



  5. Father
    Poet: Edgar A. Guest


    My father knows the proper way
    The nation should be run;
    He tells us children every day
    Just what should now be done.
    He knows the way to fix the trusts,
    He has a simple plan;
    But if the furnace needs repairs,
    We have to hire a man.

    My father, in a day or two
    Could land big thieves in jail;
    There's nothing that he cannot do,
    He knows no word like ''fail."
    "Our confidence" he would restore,
    Of that there is no doubt;
    But if there is a chair to mend.
    We have to send it out.

    All public questions that arise,
    He settles on the spot;
    He waits not till the tumult dies.
    But grabs it while it's hot.
    In matters of finance he can
    Tell Congress what to do;
    But, O, he finds it hard to meet
    His bills as they fall due.

    It almost makes him sick to read
    The things law-makers say;
    Why, father's just the man they need,
    He never goes astray.
    All wars he'd very quickly end,
    As fast as I can write it;
    But when a neighbor starts a fuss,
    'Tis mother has to fight it.

    In conversation father can
    Do many wondrous things;
    He's built upon a wiser plan
    Than presidents or kings.
    He knows the ins and outs of each
    And every deep transaction;
    We look to him for theories,
    But look to ma for action.

More Fathers Day Poems to Share



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We hope these funny poems about Dads are ones that will bring a smile to your face and a laugh to your Dad! Feel free to share them with your Father not just on Father's Day but any day of the year to brighten his day.



Famous Poets Featured in These Funny Fathers Day Poems:

Berton Braley Poems  Berton Braley Poems

Edgar A. Guest Poems   Edgar A. Guest Poems




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