Funny Fathers Day Poems

Bring a smile to Dad's face with these funny fathers day poems. Poems that may reflect exactly what some Fathers feel like. We all need a smile and Dad is no different. Share these poems with your Father and see his reaction - hopefully they will brighten his day.

Short Poems / Poems About Family / Fathers Day Poems / Funny Fathers Day Poems

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Out of The Dog House
Poet: Hazel Lang

It's Father's Day and dear old Pop
Is really ratin' up on top
All year through he's just the goat
The entire family at his throat.

Wantin' this and wantin' that
From an ice cream cone to a perky hat;
All year long he goes about
Walkin' the chalk and he can't stay out.

He can't spill ashes on the floor;
Odd jobs pile up more and more;
He drives the family here and there
They take his paper and his chair;

He does what e'er the family wills
He's just the man who pays the bills.
But Father's Day is a different story
He goes around in all his glory,

They give him gifts and pet him, too,
A million nice things do they do;
Just once a year he has his way
He's "out of the dog house"

An Ideal
Poet: Berton Braley

I wish I were as trig a man,
As big a man,
As bright a man;
I wish I were as right a man in all this earthly show,
As broad and high and long a man,
As strong a man,
As fine a man,
As pretty near divine a man as one I used to know.

I wish I were as grave a man,
As brave a man,
As keen a man,
As learned and serene a man, as fair to friend and foe.
I wish I owned sagaciousness
And graciousness
As should a man
Who hopes to be as good a man as one I used to know.

I'd be a creature glorious,
Victorious,
A Wonder-man,
Not just a sort of Blunder-man whose ways and
thoughts are slow.
If I could only be the man,
One-tenth of one degree the man,
I used to think my father was when I was ten or so.

Another funny poem that will bring a smile to Dad's face!

Getting Information Out Of Pa
Poet: Unknown

My pa he didn't go to town
Last evening after tea,
But got a book and settled down
As comfy as could be.
Til tell you I was offul glad
To have my pa about
To answer all the things I had
Been tryin’ to find out.

And so I asked him why the world
Is round instead of square,
And why the piggies’ tails are curled,
And why don’t fish breathe air?
And why the moon don’t hit a star,
And why the dark is black,
And just how many birds there are,
And will the wind come back?

And why does water stay in wells,
And why do June bugs hum,
And what’s the roar I hear in shells,
And when will Christmas come?
And why the grass is always green,
Instead of sometimes blue,
And why a bean will grow a bean
And not an apple, too?

And why a horse can’t learn to moo,
And why a cow can’t neigh?
And do the fairies live on dew,
And what makes hair grow gray —
And then my pa got up an’ gee!
The offul words he said,
I hadn’t done a thing, but he
Jest sent me off to bed.

Father
Poet: Edgar A. Guest

My father knows the proper way
The nation should be run;
He tells us children every day
Just what should now be done.
He knows the way to fix the trusts,
He has a simple plan;
But if the furnace needs repairs,
We have to hire a man.

My father, in a day or two
Could land big thieves in jail;
There's nothing that he cannot do,
He knows no word like ''fail."
"Our confidence" he would restore,
Of that there is no doubt;
But if there is a chair to mend.
We have to send it out.

All public questions that arise,
He settles on the spot;
He waits not till the tumult dies.
But grabs it while it's hot.
In matters of finance he can
Tell Congress what to do;
But, O, he finds it hard to meet
His bills as they fall due.

It almost makes him sick to read
The things law-makers say;
Why, father's just the man they need,
He never goes astray.
All wars he'd very quickly end,
As fast as I can write it;
But when a neighbor starts a fuss,
'Tis mother has to fight it.

In conversation father can
Do many wondrous things;
He's built upon a wiser plan
Than presidents or kings.
He knows the ins and outs of each
And every deep transaction;
We look to him for theories,
But look to ma for action.

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We hope these funny poems about Dads are ones that will bring a smile to your face and a laugh to your Dad! Feel free to share them with your Father not just on Father's Day but any day of the year to brighten his day.

Famous Poets Featured in These Funny Fathers Day Poems:

Berton Braley Poems