3 Funny Fathers Day Poems

Bring a smile to Dad's face with this poem. A poem that may reflect exactly what some Fathers feel like.

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  1. Out of The Dog House
    Poet: Hazel Lang

    It's Father's Day and dear old Pop
    Is really ratin' up on top
    All year through he's just the goat
    The entire family at his throat.

    Wantin' this and wantin' that
    From an ice cream cone to a perky hat;
    All year long he goes about
    Walkin' the chalk and he can't stay out.

    He can't spill ashes on the floor;
    Odd jobs pile up more and more;
    He drives the family here and there
    They take his paper and his chair;

    He does what e'er the family wills
    He's just the man who pays the bills.
    But Father's Day is a different story
    He goes around in all his glory,

    They give him gifts and pet him, too,
    A million nice things do they do;
    Just once a year he has his way
    He's "out of the dog house"

  2. An Ideal
    Poet: Berton Braley

    I wish I were as trig a man,
    As big a man,
    As bright a man;
    I wish I were as right a man in all this earthly show,
    As broad and high and long a man,
    As strong a man,
    As fine a man,
    As pretty near divine a man as one I used to know.

    I wish I were as grave a man,
    As brave a man,
    As keen a man,
    As learned and serene a man, as fair to friend and foe.
    I wish I owned sagaciousness
    And graciousness
    As should a man
    Who hopes to be as good a man as one I used to know.

    I'd be a creature glorious,
    A Wonder-man,
    Not just a sort of Blunder-man whose ways and
    thoughts are slow.
    If I could only be the man,
    One-tenth of one degree the man,
    I used to think my father was when I was ten or so.

  3. Another funny poem that will bring a smile to Dad's face!
  4. Getting Information Out Of Pa
    Poet: Unknown

    My pa he didn't go to town
    Last evening after tea,
    But got a book and settled down
    As comfy as could be.
    Til tell you I was offul glad
    To have my pa about
    To answer all the things I had
    Been tryin’ to find out.

    And so I asked him why the world
    Is round instead of square,
    And why the piggies’ tails are curled,
    And why don’t fish breathe air?
    And why the moon don’t hit a star,
    And why the dark is black,
    And just how many birds there are,
    And will the wind come back?

    And why does water stay in wells,
    And why do June bugs hum,
    And what’s the roar I hear in shells,
    And when will Christmas come?
    And why the grass is always green,
    Instead of sometimes blue,
    And why a bean will grow a bean
    And not an apple, too?

    And why a horse can’t learn to moo,
    And why a cow can’t neigh?
    And do the fairies live on dew,
    And what makes hair grow gray —
    And then my pa got up an’ gee!
    The offul words he said,
    I hadn’t done a thing, but he
    Jest sent me off to bed.

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