3 Funny Fathers Day Poems

Bring a smile to Dad's face with this poem. A poem that may reflect exactly what some Fathers feel like.

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Out of The Dog House
Poet: Hazel Lang

It's Father's Day and dear old Pop
Is really ratin' up on top
All year through he's just the goat
The entire family at his throat.

Wantin' this and wantin' that
From an ice cream cone to a perky hat;
All year long he goes about
Walkin' the chalk and he can't stay out.

He can't spill ashes on the floor;
Odd jobs pile up more and more;
He drives the family here and there
They take his paper and his chair;

He does what e'er the family wills
He's just the man who pays the bills.
But Father's Day is a different story
He goes around in all his glory,

They give him gifts and pet him, too,
A million nice things do they do;
Just once a year he has his way
He's "out of the dog house"

An Ideal
Poet: Berton Braley

I wish I were as trig a man,
As big a man,
As bright a man;
I wish I were as right a man in all this earthly show,
As broad and high and long a man,
As strong a man,
As fine a man,
As pretty near divine a man as one I used to know.

I wish I were as grave a man,
As brave a man,
As keen a man,
As learned and serene a man, as fair to friend and foe.
I wish I owned sagaciousness
And graciousness
As should a man
Who hopes to be as good a man as one I used to know.

I'd be a creature glorious,
Victorious,
A Wonder-man,
Not just a sort of Blunder-man whose ways and
thoughts are slow.
If I could only be the man,
One-tenth of one degree the man,
I used to think my father was when I was ten or so.

Another funny poem that will bring a smile to Dad's face!

Getting Information Out Of Pa
Poet: Unknown

My pa he didn't go to town
Last evening after tea,
But got a book and settled down
As comfy as could be.
Til tell you I was offul glad
To have my pa about
To answer all the things I had
Been tryin’ to find out.

And so I asked him why the world
Is round instead of square,
And why the piggies’ tails are curled,
And why don’t fish breathe air?
And why the moon don’t hit a star,
And why the dark is black,
And just how many birds there are,
And will the wind come back?

And why does water stay in wells,
And why do June bugs hum,
And what’s the roar I hear in shells,
And when will Christmas come?
And why the grass is always green,
Instead of sometimes blue,
And why a bean will grow a bean
And not an apple, too?

And why a horse can’t learn to moo,
And why a cow can’t neigh?
And do the fairies live on dew,
And what makes hair grow gray —
And then my pa got up an’ gee!
The offul words he said,
I hadn’t done a thing, but he
Jest sent me off to bed.

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