It saved my hide! I was under so much stress because I forgot Valentine's Day. Am I ever glad I came up with these crafty little excuses so I could survive the day and live on. You have to know my wife; she's a "scorpion", I mean a Scorpio. If you forget the slightest little thing, you'll never here the end of it. Out come the barbs ready to tear and rip so that I feel like a big heel.

Did you ever have one of those years when you forgot to get your special person that Valentines Day gift or card? Are you out of the hospital yet? Are you still with that person?

Well, here's some ideas for you - don't tell anyone that I told you, okay?

· Feign amnesia - forget to shave, if you're a man; don't do your make-up if you're a woman. It's best to feign all sorts of things then you can demand pity rather than scorn

· Tell your Valentine that you planned to take them out later in the week as a surprise for a special dinner at that favourite restaurant. If they call to see if you've made a reservation, and you haven't of course, tell your Valentine that they must have lost it or mistakenly written it down on another date. Wait until their out of ear shot, and dial like crazy. Don't forget to speak softly - you don't want to be overheard, now do you?